i can remember being someone else but i cann;t remember who she was and it seems i cannot be bothered to turn around and look for her as she is no longer there.

i look into these eyes that have always looked out for me and seen this skin, this hair, these hands, this body and yet it all seems new in its age. i am not sure she ever existed. who was she? when did she go and who has replaced her? i have been here the whole time so what was the definitive moment the moment of ultimate change because gradual would not explain this complete revision.

i cannot explain this to myself. all the ordinary ...the everyday so utterly like halucinating. i never want to forget how much i have loved the fleeting even as it has gone. like wind in my face, tears flowing, i welcome the whatever. i love this yet to be.............