Teenage Disneyland Hell
1982, 16 years old and not very bright. My girlfriend at the time had convinced her mom to lend us her 1968 Ford Fairlane to double date with my friend and his girlfriend to Disneyland. The happiest place on earth was located about 2 hours from our homes in the San Gabriel Valley. At the time my Friend Ed and I were not known for our moderation so the Southern Comfort and joints were passed quite a few times on the highway. Upon entering the park a splendid time was had by all, that is until we felt the need to replenish our fading buzzes. So we stumbled around looking for a dark corner to continue our party until we found what looked like a suitable bench tucked away in the outskirts of Tomorrow Land. The only problem was the elderly couple snuggling on our bench. We kind of loitered around the bench until the couple graciously offered the bench to us. As the sauntered off to the payphone we wasted no time in breaking out the goodies. We probably had a good 5 minutes of shots and we were halfway through a joint when a most unsettling sight befell us. Walking directly towards us were 2 fellows dressed as keystone cops. As I stubbed the joint out in my palm I believe what they said was “could you please hand me that and come with us?” In a weird kind of daze we walked through tomorrow land with our comical escorts. After walking through some secret door we found ourselves in the fuckin’ Disneyland police station. The place looked like every cop show on television with haggard looking detectives sitting at desks answering phones and radios. We were led to separate cells that were really just like those damn interrogation rooms on TV. I think what they mainly asked me was what we were doing and I figured there was no way to lie my way out of it so I told them the truth. I asked them how they busted us so fast and they were proud to let me know the cute elderly couple on the bench were narcs and the call they made at the payphone was to them. The really screwed part of this whole thing was that because we were all minors rather than release us they felt obligated to call each of our parents to come pick us up. Disneyland is 2 hours from our houses , each way!! That meant each of us could look forward to a harrowing 2 hour drive home with our pissed off parents. So after 2 hours my folks show up and my mom is very upset and my dad is strangely silent. The ride went pretty much as I expected …how could you do this? I’m so disappointed in you. Something about throwing my life away and so on. The ride got a little more interesting when my mom insisted on stopping at the liquor store to pick up some more Southern Comfort so we could “party” when we got home. When we finally arrived at home I tried to allow myself to be swallowed by the living room couch and distract myself with the TV so I wouldn’t hear my mom’s sobs and banging around in the kitchen. I couldn’t help but overhear when she told my dad to break out his stash and roll one up for his son. So a few minutes later I was faced with my irate mother thrusting a glass of Southern Comfort and a joint at me .As I placed both items on the coffee table between us I pleaded, “I don’t want to do this”. To which she retorted, “Come on, you’re a big man, Lets party!!” We continued on like that for maybe 10 minutes until I finally took a big drink put my feet on the coffee table in grand dramatic fashion and lit up the joint. Again, her response was pretty much like I figured it would be. She slapped the joint out of my mouth and broke down in tears screaming, “How could you do this to me!” As I slinked off to my room in the garage I knew our relationship was forever changed. I think until that time she was able to ignore the signs of teenage experimentation. I was no longer her innocent little boy and it worried her. I love my mom more than words can express and I’m sorry that I put her through that. That being said, those times as a teen with my friends were golden and I will always look back on them fondly… Did I mention my son turns 16 in February?