waking up early to the pounding on my bedroom door. i hear "get up, we're leaving in five minutes." uniform on and a cup of coffe to go, bag in hand. meeting up with the team. our last games of the season. meaningless gossip. we stretch out and i pull out green hairspray to match our shirts. thrown in, left attack wing. midfield, thanks coach. sprinting up and down. the girl is too fast. burning pain in my side. the ball hits the ground. i run after it. the girl puts out her stick. i fall over it. the ref. ignores it. more running. playing horribly. i didn't score once. similar games follow. we lose over and over again. coach puts me in goal. i let them all by. that loss was entirely my fault. tieing the last game. seasons over. i suck at life. please, kill me now.